God

I need someone, right about now,
Before it breaks me.

Take Two

A chance to start again, a chance for things to go right.
Please, let this work. No more mistakes, I won't go in too deep.
Only one thing left I need. Is it closure?

helloo.

I wrote you something pretty,
But why?

Haze

One last deep breath.
They will be here soon,
I need to make sure its all gone by then.
Nah, they will be a while,
There is time for another.
I sit, legs crossed, in the middle of an oval,
It's pretty dark. Singing to myself,
Breathing it all in.
I think I miss something...

Old Habits

My temptress...
I'm so ready to embrace you,
But so afraid of what you will do to me.
One step at a time,
Someone pass a light

Thoughts

I' m trying so hard but I cant move on,
I cant stop thinking about you.
Every moment I feel something powerful,
It turs to you.

And I don't believe in chance...

Oh but what I'd give for another one.

Prayer

I was weak and I fell for you,
On the first night you whispered those words in my ear.
I love you...
Return to me,
So we can go back to how it was in the beginning.
Endless starry nights and the sweetest taste in the air,
My head on your shoulder,
Crying.
Tears and blood.
That is all it ever was.
I hate you.
Thank you god for giving me this oppurtunity, to do what has been done before. To think what has been explained, to see what can be faked, to hear what means nothing. Today I suffer, knowing that tomorrow I will be happy. And the next day, I will die. Will I remember what you put my through, and for what it was for?

The Demon Inside Me

It's funny how your past is a part of you, bound to catch up to you. Each day that passed i was running further away from the person I was. But it only took one long inside myself to know that he was always there, taunting me in each breath. I've become something far greater than him, and now I know that I can drive him away for good. The simplicity of melodies in my head, driven to strength by the complexity of their execution, causing the demon inside me to wither in pain and suffering. The suffering of failure. It's something to know that somewhere in this stainless world there is a person who's sole intent is to undermine your sanity, something more to know he lives inside you. So armed with the countless weaving threads of notes in my ears, touching my lips, twitching my fingers, I forced him out of my body, out of me, forever. With a sickening retch and a gruesome cough, vomit covers the floor in front of me. Tears stream down my cheeks, my whole body shakes violently, my fingers tracing endless patterns on my thigh. With a final sob, I turn and walk away, back to where i began, the sun finally breaching the night's oppression. This demon I hated, this god that I trusted, I am alone once more. Despite the overwhelming weight lifted off my shoulders, I find that my heart now aches for the missing part of me. The part that I loved, the part that slowly ate away at me from inside. Now i wonder, who did I really leave behind in that mess of bile? The demon? Or the real me? What am I now?

Clean Slate

Tear down all you know,
Start over,
Take yourself back to the beginning,
Try again,
Change everything about yourself,
I'll see where it gets me..

people are bastards

nothing good comes from hard work and genuine effort

you will only end up face down in the fucking dirt.

Choose

Now i have to choose,
Between the girl in my dreams,
The girl I still search for,
And the girl I have always loved.
Is it the same person?

Searching

From across the room,
Into the deepest eyes,
The prettiest smile.
I have to find you,
And I won't rest until I do.

A Truth

A group of men set out across the sea to find something more than what they had.
To find a reason to keep living, and to bring it back to those they had left behind.
After many many years, the first group member ended his life. and then the next,
Until only one was left. he's still looking today, walking across endless fields.
Don't you see, he will never find what he is looking for. there is nothing,
No reason and nothing better. All those the crew left behind have long since given up all hope Of their return. Except for one foolish young girl. Two days ago she died,
With more despair in her heart than anyone else before her. Because life failed her grand Expectations, it failed even the simplest of her dreams. It will fail all of us.

A Lesson

One thing I learned is this:
Give everything for someone or something,
Give up your heart and mind,
And it'll fuck you over.
Caring is worth nothing,
You will get nothing back.
Don't ever try to help someone else,
You'll destroy yourself long before they reach happiness.

Pain

At least cease to suffer,
Away from me

Three days until my promise...
And I want to keep it

Soon

The thing that keeps me going,
Is falling apart.

A Note

Please don't wake me, till someone cares.
Enjoy your new life,
And NEVER forget what I did to you.
It is in me, forever.

Throat

Choking,
I try and tell someone before I fall.
I always wanted my passing to be a big deal,
Then everyone would now how much pain I was going through,
But know I now that I will die alone,
And no one will even notive until many weeks later.
Isn't it perfect,
Isn't it beautiful,
Isn't it tragic?
I don't care anymore,
I just want to die.

Outage

My deepest regrets and apoligies to you,
Man in the mirror,
But you frightened me.
I walked across the room,
And only noticed once i was done.
I saw you speak,
Your lips move,
And only heard you five minutes later.
So tell me,
Man in the mirror,
What shall I do?

Contrast

Exactly like before,

With a tinge of venom

And no passion.

Bother

I spend each day pretending I can laugh and smile,
I return home and I fall into addiction.
You?
I see nothing.

I Don't Understand

You said we had something special,
You said you wanted to be with me forever,
I said the same back to you.

So it was all lies?

Our Night Out

As I sat next to you, and later stood, I pushed a safety pin into my leg.
Why hide this truth behind subtlety and hidden meaning?

Pathetic

All I feel is contempt.
But why?

You are better than what you did,
And you shouldn't need me to tell you that.

Sound Advice

Don't tell a girl she's beautiful,
Show her that she is.
Because words lost all meaning when everyone started talking.
Don't tell a girl she's beautiful,
Show her that she is.
Sneak out of bed late at night to pick a rose from your neighbours garden,
Put it in a box and give it to her the next day.
Write her a poem that doesn't rhyme,
But ends with the word Forever.
Smile just because you're with her,
And make her laugh too.
Tell her that you can't write love songs,
But find her the best ones ever written.
Hold her hand and squeeze it tight,
Then apologise for hurting her.
Creep up behind her slowly,
And hug her waist gently.
Show her that shes beautiful,
Show her that you love her,
And the next time you tell her so,
She will believe you, Forever.

Phone Call

I called a sucide hotline,
and told them i was on top of the third tallest building in the city.
I spoke to the girl on the other end of the phone for a while, and watched, from across the street, as the police cars pulled up out the front of the building i had described.

A Reminder

I was in hospital from a car crash,
and they said that as part of the treatment,
they would remove all of the scars from my legs.
I asked them to leave one.
Just one.

Return

There is power in choosing to hurt,
but there is more in choosing not to.

and the satisfaction is so much more if you do.